For a safe word, you should not use common words like "stop" and should instead choose words that would not naturally come up in sex play. "Navigating consent for primal play is no different than navigating consent for any intense BDSM sexual activities: clear safe signals (non-verbal) and safe words are negotiated, limits are discussed and agreed upon, and detailed consent is negotiated in advance," says Lori Beth.Ī safe word is an agreed upon word that, once uttered, should signify that the sexual activity being attempted needs to come to a stop immediately. As Lori Beth puts it "Primal folk agree that carefully negotiated consent is essential." You might think that this kind of instinct-based primal play does not include rules or boundaries, but this couldn't be further from the truth. However, primal kinks can be acted out in other ways too, as Lori Beth explains "Sometimes people will say they are primal and will mean they simply enjoy sex without restraint." Primal fetishes and consent Power play may also be explored through consensual scenes revolving around a chase or struggle for dominance. Primal play can also incorporate dominant/submissive or top/bottom dynamics, sometimes through animal play which follows a hunter/prey or predator/prey logic. The latter may appeal to individuals who enjoy sadist and masochistic sexual activities. The term can apply to a range of behaviour which may include some form of animal play (this isn't the case for everyone) perhaps involving large predators, noises like grunts or animal sounds, and consensual "rough" sex, where biting, hair-pulling, consensual hitting or scratching may feature. "The primal part of the brain is responsible for survival, so it is supposed that our basic instincts towards finding food, self protection and reproduction are the ones that are primal." "A primal kink or fetish involves gaining sexual pleasure through engaging in a primal way," explains psychologist, sex and intimacy and GSRD therapist Dr Lori Beth Bisbey. The word "primal" harks back to an earlier stage in human development, which may translate to a more instinct-based or even animalistic approach to having sex for those with a primal kink. Laura Vowels, principal researcher and sex therapist at sex therapy app Blueheart gives advice on how beginners can start to experiment with primal play. If you're into things like grunting and consensual biting or scratching while you're having sex, you may well have a primal fetish aka a primal kink.įor those who are reading at home, keep reading for everything you need to know about primal play, according to Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, an Accredited Advanced GSRD (Gender, Sex, Relationship Diversity) Therapist, sex and intimacy coach, and registered psychologist, who you might have seen on Channel 4's Open House: The Great Sex Experimen t.Īdditionally, Dr. Ever like getting a little ~wild~ in the bedroom? Turns out, you're not alone.
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